Matthew Running wild!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I have been dreading this week with a passion since November 9th. I don't know why but it really is getting to me that this week is the 6 month mark of when my mom died and it also just happens to be the week of Mother's Day. I have been really hoping that I would be coping better with the loss, but apparently it isn't to be. Along with my mother it was this time last year that my Grandma Pratt passed away. Sometimes it just seems so surreal at times that this past year is just a really really long awful dream. I really wish it were. This week I can definately feel the emotions are really raw and close to the surface. I still find myself going to pick up the phone and wanting to talk to my mom and have her make the pain go away by making me laugh it off. I wish I were more like her and wake up saying "I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful" or "I feel excellent bordering on the spectacular." I have come to the conclusion that life is sometimes not what you're expecting, that telling those around you that you love and appreciate them, that friends are a blessing and that true compassion and charity is the most amazing gift you can give to someone. I can only hope and pray that I can influence people like my mother did.